Out of the Darkness Cometh the Light - by soldierofonebattleson
by soldierofonebattleson
Summary: First time fic, Maura/Jane. A living nightmare threatens to tear Jane and Maura apart, severing their souls forever before they'd even had chance to acknowledge their blossoming feelings for one another.
1. Chapter 1

**Out of the Darkness Cometh the Light by soldierofonebattleson**

**Chapter One**.

Liquid fire burned white jagged lances of pain across her vision as her chest convulsively tightened, fighting to gasp for more air into her rapidly weakening body.

Crimson red blood was oozing slowly from the jaggedly gaping wound to her right temple but Detective Jane Rizzoli was just thankful that the blood had finally started to coagulate, having already poured all down her face and over her clothes. The loss leaving her feeling weak at the knees. The stench of it coupled with the sweat and dirt clinging to her battered body was burning away at the hairs in her nostrils, as her stomach threatened to expel its contents once more.

Her eye on that side was already swollen painfully shut and sporting a hideously garish purple and blue bruise, she just prayed to God her nose hadn't been broken… again. Thick rough maritime rope was biting viciously into the now red raw skin of her wrists and ankles and the bindings were rendering her completely immobile as they secured her to the wooden crucifix. Through her good eye all she could tell was that she was in a decrepit, dank and musty old abandoned warehouse in the middle of downtown God only knows where. That and the fact that the bastard was filming her.

Unable to keep her head upright anymore she allowed it to slump forwards, her chin resting on her chest as she closed her eyes for what she thought was the final time, she felt the darkness start to wash over her and a single tear escaped her eye as it started to consume her.

Jane Rizzoli was a smart and incredibly gifted woman who had been raised in a warm and loving blue collar, Italian-American family. Her parents had wanted to sacrifice every bit of their meagre wealth for her, wanting to send their only daughter to the prestigious Boston University. Jane however, had gotten other ideas. Not wanting to put her family through the crippling financial burden that would have ensued, she had instead joined the Boston Police Department, and in time had gone on to become the youngest officer ever to make it into the Homicide Department.

Her years on the job told her she was about to meet her maker. She'd come to terms with the notion of losing her life in the line of duty a long time ago and strangely enough she found that the thought didn't fill her with the unbridled terror she had expected. The only images that were playing in her mind and tormenting her were the thoughts of losing the people she loved.

Her mom, Angela, who had only just found her feet after Jane's father had abandoned her for a younger woman. A intensely maternal and caring woman she'd always ensured Jane and her two brothers had all the love and warmth in their lives that they could ever need… even if her snooping and often unannounced arrival at the most inconvenient times to her apartment drove her crazy.

Her brothers, Franky and Tommy, meant the world to her. Franky had recently passed his Detective's exam and she was sure the charismatic and charming man he'd grown to be would one day follow in her footsteps, becoming a Homicide Detective. Even Tommy, who'd not long been released from jail was becoming the man she knew he could be, having a paternal and mature side she'd never expected to see from him when he'd discovered he had a baby son.

Detectives Frost and Korsak, her partner and Sergeant on the Force, who made the job all that much more bearable on the bad days with relentless bantering and good always managing to good humouredly annoy her on the good ones, saving her skin and theirs alike on more occasions than she could remember.

Then there was Maura. Dr Maura Isles, the Googlemouthed, Medical Examiner genius who constantly kept Jane in a state somewhere between infuriation and sheer awe. The slightly socially awkward but brilliant pathologist had become Jane's best friend, someone she confided her life to, in fact the only person on the planet she trusted enough to confess her secrets to.

She was Jane's complete antithesis, whereas Jane's hair was a wild mass of unruly curly jet black bangs and her tall frame muscular and lithe, Maura was slightly shorter than Jane and her body also slim from years of yoga, but her body held a curvaceous beauty about it which captivated both men and women alike.

Jane's daily uniform consisted of a smart pant suit, sleeves often shucked up to her elbows, tailored shirts and thanks to the long hours, comfortable boots were almost always the order of the day. Maura on the other hand dressed like a model on a catwalk everyday of her life, preferring Milano Blaniks, Alexander McQueen dresses and even when dressed in her morgue scrubs she somehow managed to look gracefully perfect. Her auburn sometimes blonde locks would cascade over her shoulders in soft curls and with the controlled poise she always seemed to hold, she painted a picture of total perfection.

Jane knew Maura didn't really have anyone else in the world other than her and her family. Maura had been adopted and her adoptive mother had brought her up through a somewhat loveless, strict, and demanding childhood.

Recently her biological family had threatened to tear that very friendship apart as Jane had been forced to shoot Maura's father in a sting, he'd been a major crime boss who'd confessed that he would have shot her if she hadn't pulled the trigger first. But Maura had pushed her away in total anguish, grief at the loss of a father she had never really known. Only the intervention of their friends and Jane's mom had got them through it and back to how they used to be. Even only recently had Maura's biological mother accepted Maura's actual existence, having originally thought her to have died at birth. A tenuous relationship was blossoming and Jane smiled at the thought of Maura, at how selfless she was, like the time without hesitation she'd offered her dying sister, the sister she had never known, one of her own kidneys for transplantation.

Jane's thoughts turned dark and foggy as the idea of leaving Maura behind tortured her, the possibility of never seeing that beautiful smile again as she made Maura laugh with her sarcasm and impatience, it made her want to break down and cry.

The thought of never being able to hold Maura in her arms again, comforting her after the horrific cases they were often subjected to, or through their often shambolic love lives. To curl up next to her in bed on the nights when she couldn't face being alone, haunted by the nightmares of victims or the murderers who had violated both them and her. She would willingly sell her soul to the devil if it meant she could see her again for one last time. Another solitary tear slipped down her cheek, escaping Jane's iron will as she refused to breakdown and give HIM the satisfaction.

*Maura-…. I need you!…. Please! I can't do this alone, I can't beat him, I just can't...*

Then he was back. She suddenly realised her time on this mortal coil was up, Maura wasn't coming for her, she'd lost everything and now she was about to lose her life. She was alone. Finally the tears broke free, wretched sobs wracking her body not at the thought of her impending demise, but at the thought of her impending loss, her Maura.

Maura stood staring at the computer screen, her face ghostly in pallor from exhaustion and fear, her eyes swollen and red from the now dry tears which had left shimmering tracks staining her gaunt cheeks. She was paralysed with fear, unable to tear her eyes away from the screen and completely numb to the world around her. Her fists clenched in anger, tension and outright despair as she stood in abject defeat. She knew she was about to lose the most important person in her life, blinking as she suddenly realised she wasn't sure if she wanted to or could even manage to carry on with her own should that happen.

Her normally flawless facade betrayed the unbearable stress and worry she was suffering, clothes wrinkled and hair in slight disarray, she knew she should try to eat something or get some sleep as she hadn't had any in the last 48 hrs, but at this point in time she didn't care. She refused to leave the Brick until the situation had been resolved one way or another.

Fearfully watching the screen in front of her she suddenly gasped in terror as the suspect dressed all in black combats and a balaclava entered the shot and manically grinned, looking directly into the camera. The man then turned his back on it and facing the bloodied and broken figure in front of him he raised his fist, using his entire bodyweight he savagely threw a punch into the battered face before him and laughed sickeningly as it connected.

Maura heard herself screaming before she realised she'd even done it, the sickening cracking of bone instantly causing bile to burn the back of her throat as she wretched in reaction at the blood spurting from the wound, marring the pale skin of the slumped figure.

The man turned round to face the camera once more, still smiling like a lunatic as he addressed his viewer. "Time for this fucking little cunt to die Doctor, you hear me?! DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME YOU FUCKING BITCH?!" Turning back around to face his victim he reached into his pocket and something glinted in the light. "Time for your slaughter you fucking pig! Bye-bye Jane!"

Suddenly the screen turned to snow as interference destroyed the picture, cutting off the feed and sound. "JANE-…!" Maura screamed sobbing before breaking down completely. She collapsed to the floor unable to keep herself together anymore, crashing down onto her knees as she wept inconsolably for what she was about to lose and all the things that had yet been to come.

She'd never had a friend before she'd met Detective Jane Rizzoli, and it hadn't been until the woman had rudely barged her way into her life, undercover as a hooker, she finally realised just how empty her life had been.

Jane was THE single most frustrating and impatient woman she had ever met, but she wouldn't have it any other way. The Detective had scarily accurate instincts, often acting on gut feeling alone, whereas Maura preferred the safety of scientific analysis and the sanctuary of logical thought processes. They should never have got on, should never have been as close as they had become. But as different as they were, Maura had found that they complimented each other perfectly, their uniqueness making them an unstoppable team. And although Jane often acted like a bull in a china shop, was sarcastic and teased her relentlessly about her Googlebrain on a daily basis, Maura realised that she was the only one in Jane's life who was privileged enough to see the who the whole person was behind that fierce facade that was Detective Jane Rizzoli.

Genuine affection mixed with a sickening feeling of mourning washed over her as she remembered the time Jane had held Tommy's abandoned son in her arms, gently rocking the precious bundle, eyes lovingly gazing down at him, or the time she'd saved Maura's leg from amputation, as well as her life, after criminals had forced their car off the road.

All the times, when things threatened to become unbearable in her life, Jane would be by her side and had been there to wrap her up in a warm hug of reassurance, coupled with that gentle heart warming smile and she'd somehow always make everything wrong in the world feel right again.

She had no idea how long she'd been kneeling on the floor for, her legs long since past feeling anymore when she felt a warm large hand clutch her shoulder. Lieutenant Cavanaugh, Jane's boss, cleared his throat gently behind her.

"Dr Isles, it's Jane, I-… we've found her-… it's… it's not good." His voice was full of aching sadness and faltered as he stumbled over the words he knew she didn't want to hear.

Maura had no idea what happened next as her body shutdown in a state of shock and the numbness took over. Her life would never be the same and the heartbreaking pain ripping through her very soul fracturing it in two made her feel like she wanted to just simply die right there and then, rather than suffer a life without Jane.

A piercing, other worldly scream tore from her lungs in sheer wretched pain as she slammed her fists violently into the scuffed and marked linoleum covering the office floor. She cried, screamed and pleaded until her lungs burnt desperate for air, her throat feeling like it had been slit with razor wire as warm hands slid under her arms, trying to lift her off the floor...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

She was operating on total autopilot, her surroundings, sounds, smells, the other people milling around her, they didn't even register for a millisecond in her mind. The numbness still hadn't released it's vicelike grip around her heart, she just didn't seem to be able to break free from it and even more disturbingly she wasn't sure she wanted to.

Maura for the first time ever in her whole existence felt like her life was spiralling totally out of control.

Ask anyone, especially Jane, she'd tell you that Dr Maura Isles adored her job. She relished working with the dead, using her scalpel sharp logic and gifted talents to unravel her "patients" stories layer by layer, sample by sample. And as gruesome as it sounded to everyone else, she enjoyed it.

That was until the day Jane had been systematically tortured and brutalised by Alex Darhayne. The live feed to the Boston Homicide computer system had been grotesquely displayed like a sick horror movie onto the projector screen hung in the Brick. Maura's solitary figure had been stood watching in terror and heart wrenching agony as she saw Darhayne pull out a knife in front of Jane's slumped motionless body. Limply hanging from the makeshift crucifix, blood trickled onto the filthy concrete floor below her naked battered feet which, were randomly twitching involuntarily. Unbeknownst to her, Maura's own worst personal nightmare was about to come true in hideous lifesize technicolour, and there wasn't a single thing she could do to stop it from happening. She was totally helpless.

Darhayne had abruptly turned to face the camera pointed at them, maniacal laughter peeled through the computers speakers, piercing like daggers in Maura's ears, the balaclava clad face contorting into a vile grin of warped ecstasy as Maura saw a large hunting knife suddenly appear in frame. The feed suddenly cut off and the white-noise of interference filled the room, virtual snow replacing the image.

Maura didn't remember anything else about that day nor much else about the immediate days that followed, they were simply a blur to her. She knew she was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD) and Psychogenic Amnesia and although she was undergoing counselling and treatment for both, neither seemed to be working. The PTSD had rendered her both physically and emotionally exhausted, having not been able to make it through a whole night without unbroken sleep, constantly waking up sweat drenched and screaming due to her horrifically realistic nightmares about Jane.

As a result Maura had imposed a self-enforced absence of leave, unable to face the morgue or its labs, incarcerating herself instead at her home, a self inflicted prison.

The first body since "IT" had happened had been rolled into her morgue a few days later on a gurney, ensconced in its black coloured standard heavy duty vinyl body bag. She'd stood next to it for what seemed an eternity simply staring at the zip that was providing a protective barrier between her and what might lie below. Having to uncharacteristically steal herself, she took a firm grasp of it and slowly drew it down, the noise of it being unzipped unnaturally loud in her ears.

The second the ghostly face of a nameless young woman stared blankly and soullessly back at her something within her died a little more. Maura's breathing became shallow and inconsistent, the blood draining from her face as some unearthly force sapped all the remaining strength from her body, the sound of her blood thumping through her body becoming absolutely deafening. Gasping in sheer shock, tears flooded her eyes stinging painfully as she was powerless to stop them from falling. Gutteral cries of agony escaped her lips as her world came crashing down on top her and the pain threatened to tear her apart. Her scalpel clattered to the floor as her body suddenly weakened, poised no longer to dissect the Y-incision.

This wasn't some nameless woman who had been brought to her having suffered a sudden unexpected death with no known cause. Instead the corpse's face was callously burning its image into her very soul. As she looked down it wasn't a nameless woman at all, all she could see was Jane, her lifeless, soulless and decaying face staring back at her.

Uncontrollably retching as the smell of decomp' viciously burnt the back of her nose and throat, she ran to the nearest sink vomiting repeatedly and violently as her body was completely unable to cope with the cruel tricks her PTSD was playing on her mind.

Suddenly brought back to the here and now, the piercing and shrill tone of her mobile phone jolted her out of her numb stupor, grabbing it from her bedside table she answered with a growing sense of fear and trepidation.

"Maura, it's Angela, you need to come right away, right now, please we need you!" Angela's stressed and tired voice begged, straining to keep the sobs and abject desperation from her tone. "Maura?! Maura hello?!"

Maura struggled to find a way to form any semblance of words, the pain of hearing Jane's mother so raw and immediate, like a swift booted kick to the guts.

"Maura goddammit, I know you're there! We need you, SHE needs you! NOW!"

"I-... I'm on my way." Maura managed to meekly reply as the hand holding her phone to her ear began to tremble uncontrollably with fear.

Maura almost hadn't made the short journey to Boston Mass General Hospital, the fear of the unknown, her grief and apprehension almost overpowering her as she sat in the driver's seat of her Toyota Prius. unable to start the engine as she stared at her hands gripping the steering wheel with such ferocity her knuckles had blanched white. Once again time had passed her by in a blur, not being able to recall exactly how she'd been able to drive her car to the hospital or even the route she'd taken.

Something was tugging at the corners of her consciousness, something irritating and repetitive. Beeping, yeah that's what it was, a steady and constant low beeping noise, God that was annoying! She tried to frown in consternation but her face almost felt numb. It was like swimming through a thick fog, her thoughts slow and lethargic as she tried to regain some semblance of what the hell was going on. Everything was black...but why, was she in the dark? Was she sleeping? Her eyes, her eyes she realised suddenly they were shut, okay so why was it so hard to open them, why did her right eye hurt so damn much compared to the left?! Clenching and gritting teeth through the pain she slowly managed to open her left eye, immediately squinting against the harsh fluorescent light assaulting it, sending daggers of pain deep into her skull.

Taking a deep but ragged breath she tried again, opening her eye slowly this time prepared for the brightness. Suddenly a stifled gasp came from someone sat to her right side and as she did the fog surrounding her mind slowly began to lift a little as she tried to comprehend where except the hell she was. Something soft and warm enveloped her right hand, stroking back and forth across the skin, slender digits caressing her comfortingly as she finally managed to take in her surroundings.

"M-... Maur'-..." Jane managed to croak out, her throat scratchy and sore from not being used. Despite the ache and a small fit of coughing she managed a small but half crooked smile as she realised it was Maura holding her hand. Through her one good eye she gazed at the woman sat to her side, so close she was almost sat on her bed. Something was wrong, Maura wasn't even looking at her, despite her own pain and trauma it barely registered in her mind, the only person she was worried about right now was the woman sat with her. "Maur, what's wrong, look at me." Maura didn't respond so she tried again, feeling the fear bubble up in her chest she clasped the hand holding hers back trying to grab her attention. "Maura, please!"

Swollen red tear and fear filled eyes suddenly looked back at her and Jane felt a little piece of her heart break as Maura's bottom lip began to tremble, eyes closing and unable to look Jane in the eye as she desperately tried to fight the tears away. "Shhhh shhh Maur, it's okay, I'm okay! Please, it's okay, everything's going to be alright I promise. Look at me, c'mon." Maura stifled her crying, sniffling back the tears as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, sadness emanating from every pore of her body.

Fighting demons to be able to look at the woman laid before her, a whisper of a breaking voice escaped her quivering lips, trembling with the emotion she was barely able to contain. "I-... I thought I'd lost you! Jane, I thought I'd lost you forever! I-..." A sob escaped her lips, unable to speak anymore of the soul destroying fear she'd been through at the thought of losing her, her Jane. The soft cries began to rack her body as she could no longer hold back the emotion which had been holding her hostage ever since Jane had been cruelly taken from her.

"Oh Maur-... Maura, I'm so SO sorry, I'm here now. Come here, c'mere please, I need you." She said pleading, tugging on the hand still in her own trying to weakly pull the trembling woman towards her. "I don't really know what happened, why I'm here, but I um, I need you to know..." Jane's voice dropped to barely a whisper, unsure of how to express what she was feeling, mainly because she wasn't sure what had made her feel this way. " I know that I missed you, I missed YOU Maur."

A sudden loud sob startled Jane as Maura stood up, falling to pieces like shattered glass right in front of her very eyes as Jane's words rang out loud and clear in her ears. Jane felt her own tears begin to sting at the corner of her eyes too as she mustered all the strength she could, pulling Maura into her arms.

She had no idea how long they'd clung so desperately to one another, resolutely refusing to let go for fear of losing each other again. Maura had somehow ended up lying by her side on the tiny hospital bed, her arms wrapped possessively around Jane's chest, face nuzzling into her neck, cushioned by those soft black curls caressing her skin like some heavenly pillow. Jane drew lazy circles with her fingertips over the warm arm pinning her in place, eyes closed as she allowed herself this secret and private moment of indulgence, smiling warmly as she listened to a soft snort coming from the precious bundle in her arms, Maura's breathing slow and deep as the sleep soothed away all the pain she'd seen etched over her face.


	3. Chapter 3

_Rating M/E - Due to graphic descriptions of a nightmare revolving around the effects of PTSD._

_No mind blowing sex as of yet but I promise there will be, they just need to work up to it a bit beforehand! :) Don't worry the story won't remain all angsty and turmoil driven but given what they've just gone through I don't want to just turn this into one of Tamero's plots and sweep it all under the carpet! It will definitely lighten up in the next chapters to come._

_Anyway apologies for keeping you waiting, writing doesn't come naturally to me and it's a desperate struggle for me to even get a single word down on page because my stupid brain loves getting writer's block! Enjoy and if you have any suggestions, like where you might like the plot to go or anything else, please feel free to drop me a line._

_Oh and to anyone on Tumblr that dropped me a message and I haven't replied yet I'm sorry, the damn thing seems to eat my messages and buries them somewhere so I'm not being rude, I just can't see them to reply. Many thanks to the peeps that offered to be my betas, I'd love to have you take a look over this but I can't get in touch because I can't see your contact details anymore :(_

**Chapter 3**

Jane awoke the next morning to nothing but empty sheets and the sudden realisation that she hadn't got a single clue about what had happened to her, she began to question whether the previous night had ever even happened. Just thinking about it made her fingers tingle at the thought of letting them caress and tangle into Maura's silken locks. A small lopsided smile graced her lips as she thought fondly about her best friend, not even realising the way her eyes lit up the moment she pictured the enigmatic doctor reeling off her Google-mouthed facts, both infuriating and adorable at the same time.

She had no idea how she'd have got through the last couple of years without her by her side and she certainly didn't know how she'd get through the ones ahead should they ever be separated. It was funny really, of all the men that had walked in (and rather quickly) out of her life, she thought she'd loved them to begin with but in the end she always knew it was never enough.

Those men, including Casey and Gabrielle, had never truly loved her for who she was, they'd all wanted her to change the parts of her she knew were so integral to her identity and had all wanted to mould, bend and break her into the woman they wanted her to be. Essentially to sacrifice her freedom and independence so they could have what they wanted.

Squeezing her one good eye shut she attempted to piece together how on earth she'd ended up in a hospital bed and sharing it with her heartbroken best friend. The only problem was that nothing would come to her, not a single detail or a ghost of an image, nothing and it was infuriating. Maybe it was all the drugs they were pumping her full of, it was a struggle to even move her head on her pillow as her consciousness felt like it was having to swim through an almost impenetrable thick fog hampering her at every turn.

All of a sudden the door to her private room swung open, the swooshing and resultant clattering noise scaring her, almost making her jump out of her skin. Unfortunately even in her groggy state the jarring to her ribs immediately caused them to scream bloody blue murder as pain set fire to every nerve ending in her body and brain. As a piercing scream tore from her lungs her world went suddenly black once more.

She knew she was dreaming but there was nothing she could do to escape it, vivid technicolour monsters prowled this grotesque world and unfortunately for her, her dreams were as real as waking life. She knew Maura would be able to explain the phenomenon in all its scientific glory but what she needed right now was rescuing. She could see blood coagulating in large thick rust coloured pools all over the debris littered floor and the stench of death hung in the air causing her stomach to roil, burning at the back of her throat, she remembered the smell vividly, a mixture of extremely rank and stale body odour mixed in with rotting flesh and the taste of iron from the blood lingered on her tongue. Gun drawn, she held a flashlight in the other hand cutting through the darkness as she apprehensively stalked down the abandoned corridor. She was freezing cold dressed in only a filthy dirt streaked, torn white vest top with black suit slacks that were covered in mud and grime, her feet numb as they padded nakedly along the frozen concrete. She shivered as a gust of cool winter air battered against her body causing the hairs on her arms to stand on end, covered in goose bumps she shivered in involuntarily.

After a few more cautious steps she found herself stood in front of an old battered wooden door, mint green paint peeling off in big flakes like the leafs off an autumn tree. Standing out starkly against the grain, blood was spattered in long vertical arterial arcs top to bottom like a grotesque art nouveau canvas. Tentatively she grasped the door knob taking a shakily apprehensive breath as she gripped it and slowly began to turn. She offered up a silent prayer to anyone or anything listening that the damn door was unlocked and not prone to creaking. Instantly her heart began to hammer in her chest, threatening to smash its way out of her ribcage as fear began to poison her mind. Her pulse pounded in her ears to the point that that was all she could hear, her palms began to sweat profusely and her throat became parched, bone dry. Swearing silently under her breath, the damn thing was locked.

Knowing she'd have to bite the bullet one way or another, she took a step backwards and using as much force as she could muster, she stomped a bare foot into the wooden panelling sending sharp splinters flying everywhere as the sound of the frame shattering crashed through her ears. Pain lanced agonisingly through her now shredded and bleeding foot, but that was far from the worst thing she was facing now. An eerie silence had enveloped her which in itself was almost deafening. Standing in the doorway she physically felt all of her strength flee from her body, causing her legs to give out from under her as the image assaulting her eyes slapped her brutally across the face. A strangled cry of shock and anguish escaped her lips as she sank to her knees and the tears began to spill from tortured eyes.

The figure slumped in front of her, propped up like a broken raggedy-anne doll against a wooden crate in the middle of the room was barely recognisable. But she knew that hair, saw that gold detective's badge clipped to the belt around the trousers, that person was her. She was dead, savagely slaughtered, her throat slit ear to ear, gaping grotesquely open right down to the spine as her head lolled backwards with no muscle left to support it. Her soulless single glassy and inky black eye stared blankly at the ceiling as her head had almost been severed from the mutilated body she hardly recognised as her own.

The unstoppable flow of tears burnt away at her eyes as she looked at the face she no longer recognised as her own, a dark void had replaced where her right eye had once been, her right cheek savagely sliced through all the layers of her skin right down to the bone, flayed open for all to see. The room's only light hideously reflecting off the white bloody bone deep within the massive wound. There was so much blood covering her once olive skin that there was hardly a patch of it still visible. Her white shirt had been torn open, buttons surrounding her lifeless corpse on the floor around her, bra ripped in two it hung loosely in shreds around her limp arms, breasts on display. But most horrific of all, there was now a fist sized gaping cavity where her heart should have been, only now her heart was held in her own dead left hand and her innards had been torn from within and laid to bear for all the world to see in her lap. She didn't even know she was doing it but an ear piercing scream tore through the air as she collapsed onto the unforgiving floor and curled into a ball alone in the filth.

Something began to draw her back from the agony as a soothing warmth began to slowly wind it's way through her icy veins. It was a familiar feeling but not one she could quite put her finger on to identify who or what was causing it. Something was tugging at her conscience urging her to wake up and she knew in an instant her saviour had finally availed and was here to rescue her. It was an instinctual gut feeling that told her her knight in shining armour was by her side as an unwavering and completely unfaltering sense of love washed over her, embracing her in tender arms. A soft voice was whispering unintelligible words of comfort into her ear, gently pulling her from the soul consuming darkness back into the light.

As she slowly opened her eyes again, her senses seemed to lag behind as her brain played catch up, but she could have sworn she felt softly full and tender lips pressing into her temple, placing a reverent kiss there. The fear was vanquished from her soul by that one simple act and in that one instant she knew without a shadow of a doubt in her mind that she'd finally found her way home.

Maura had kept her silent vigil at the side of Jane's bed, traumatised and racked with guilt that she had be the on to scare Jane into unconsciousness when she's walked into her room earlier that day. Weeping silently sat by her side, she begged and pleaded with all that she was, her heart and soul in their entirety for Jane not to be taken from her. She knew with an unwavering conviction that she would never ever meet another person in her whole life like Jane, she wouldn't want to even if she could. The woman whose hand she clung onto for dear life had taught her what it was to be truly loved for the first time ever in her existence. She'd accepted Maura for who she was without chastisement or a desire to change her, she simply let Maura be Maura. For that Maura knew she'd do anything for the woman laid beside her, without hesitation she knew she'd die for her and the thought made her now ever present tears begin to well up inside her once again.

Sudden fitful movements brought her quickly out of her reverie, worry causing her brow to furrow and her lips drew into a thin pensive line as she realised the precious bundle laid next to her was suffering through another one of her bad dreams. In the times she'd shared a bed with Jane during their sleepovers Jane's nightmares had woken her on a handful of occasions. Jane never talked about them, it was just how she was, although she was closer to Jane than anyone else in the world she knew that the stoic and proud detective abhorred showing any sign off weakness within herself.

Maura knew exactly what she was going through and just wished that Jane would share with her, she'd been having her own personal worst nightmare ever since the day she'd been subjected to the horror show of Jane being tortured, so helpless that she couldn't be the one to save her, she felt like a failure, that she hadn't been there for her best friend the one time she needed her most. Casting a soft gaze over Jane's prone form she realised that her face was contorted in what appeared to be pure physical pain, looking at her chest the once slow sleep laboured breaths had become rapid gasps for air and her pulse point was practically leaping out of her throat. Small unintelligible cries passed from the sleeping woman's lips as her arms and legs began to thrash against the bed, her head throwing itself from side to side in absolute distress.

Maura on auto-pilot did the only thing she knew instinctively would calm the terrified slumbering woman down. Not caring what the hospital saff might say or think, or even if Jane's family walked in and caught her, Maura stood up and repeated her actions from the day before. With a gentle hand cupping Jane's cheek, she brushed a soothing thumb over the warm silken skin in a calming pattern and her other hand she placed flat against Jane's left shoulder and applying firm pressure as she pressed her back down into the bed sheets, attempting to still her.

Slowly and carefully she climbed up onto the bed, mindful of Jane's broken ribs and damaged arm, she lay herself down next to Jane. Draping a leg over once flailing thighs she curled a tender hand into the crook of the detective's neck, brushing a loving thumb from the nook behind her ear and trailed a featherlight path down the sharp line of her angular jaw. Lying on her side facing Jane she once more nuzzled her face into the unruly mass of untamed ebony curls that framed her face and lifting up slightly she pressed her lips to Jane's temple placing a reverent kiss of affection. The spilt second contact with pliant warm skin instantly caused her breath to hike and her lips to tingle in the most curious of ways, but now wasn't the time to analyse that. She lowered her lips and hovered them just above Jane's ear as she begin to whisper hot breathy words of comfort and reassurance in the hope that they'd rescue Jane from her terror.

"I'm here for you Jane, I'll always be here for you no matter what. I know I let you down but I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll just let me, please... I swear... And you know I don't normally swear about anything."

The last part she spoke with a small melancholy smile gracing her full lips as she thought of all the things she would never normally do, but for Jane she'd always make an exception. Drinking beer and even worse out of a can, wearing polyester in the form of a Red Sox jersey just because they were Jane's favourite team, going to a baseball game even though she hated large crowds, breaking her one guest policy so she could ensure that she had both Jane and her family in her life as much as possible, bending the truth for Jane when she got herself into one of her sticky situations even though Maura knew she was risking breaking out into hives or suffering a panic attack, and then there was even the pretending not to know that Jane had snuck a stash of her dreaded instant coffee into the back of one of her kitchen cupboards when the thought of drinking the ghastly instant brew threatened to expel her stomach contents.

"Don't you dare ever leave me ever again Jane, I don't know how to live without you by my side, this world would be worthless without you. I need you."

Jane barely caught Maura's last words, so faintly were they whispered into her ear, she desperately fought the urge to shiver as the warm breath caressed over her.

Voice low and gravely from sleep induced dryness she managed to whisper back, "I promise Maur, I promise."

Raising her one good arm she tangled her hand into the golden auburn tresses of her friend and once again luxuriated at how the silken strands felt against her fingers as she stroked Maura's hair. It earned her a contented sigh as Maura nuzzled in as close as she possibly could, burying her face into the crook of Jane's neck breathing in the heady scent that was uniquely Jane Rizzoli.

Despite the fact she was stranded, laid broken in a hospital bed with no clue about how she got there and haunted by the most graphically disturbing nightmares she'd ever had, right here, right now this very second both of them knew they didn't want to be anywhere else...

_(Author's note: I know some people might question how true the description is of Jane's dream sequence, many will even deny that it's possible to have working senses in a dream state. But this, including the parts about PTSD are a true reflection of what I experienced on a daily basis when I olast returned from overseas. When it's a normal dream I have to admit it's truly a beautiful thing to dream the way I do. I can literally taste, smell and feel my way through them with a certain amount of control over what happens when I'm dreaming lucidly. Coupled with this I also dream in vivid colours too, making it almost as real as the waking world. _

_However, when it comes to my nightmares these gifts are not so welcome, I can literally recall the stench of death and decomposition, which in my case because of where I was is triggered by the strong smell of body odour and rotting meat so nowadays a trip to the local butchers is out of the question. But even worse than that I actually feel physical excruciating pain when injured or harmed and can even taste the iron of my blood when it's spilt. And yes unfortunately they're still in horrid technicolour, only this time I don't seem to have any control over what happens to me. _

_The whole social stigmatism surrounding PTSD is one that's obviously very close to my heart, please if someone you love or care for etc tells you that this is what they're going through then don't just brush it under the carpet or tell them there's no such thing and they're making it up or lying. Because my friends, it's a very horrible reality many of us have to live with and you don't have to be a soldier or work in the emergency services to have this happen to you, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, students, teachers, the guy who delivers your parcels, the lass who drives your bus, ANY of you could go through this and it is nothing to be ashamed of, so please don't turn your back on them and damn you Janet Tamero for not dealing with this properly in the show, even if it had been just for one episode!)_


	4. Chapter 4

I can't apologise enough for the ridiculous delay in getting this chapter out, sorry guys, I just keep hitting this really bad wall with my writing. This hasn't been beta read yet but I'm going to try to iron out any links as soon as I can. Please feel free to drop me a line if you spot anything or if you have any suggestions about where you might like to see this go. Enjoy!

**Chapter 4**

Maura couldn't work again, although she'd returned since the last episode which had seen her collapse in the morgue due to her PTSD, she'd tried again to find solace in her job but it was no longer there. Previously she was always known as being a consummate professional, a subject matter expert that her colleagues, subordinates and peers all held a enormous amount of respect for, the absolute best in her field. But now she found a crippling weakness had washed over her very body and soul. She was no longer able to put a brave face on it or fake a smile anymore when dealing with her colleagues or the families of the bereaved. It was a lie she was no longer able to tell.

The door to her office was locked and the harsh fluorescent lights had been turned off plunging the space into almost complete darkness. It was slightly comforting in a disconcerting way, wrapping around her like the blackness that was tightening its grip on her struggling heart.

The cold and blue tinged corpses that adorned her autopsy tables had taken on the sinister ability of being able to shape shift again. Men and women alike, black, white, latino, asian, young or old, they taunted her with their death. Every time she looked into one of their soulless faces suddenly she could see nothing but Jane's, whiter than snow, eyes now pale and cloudy the life drained from them, all the love they once held gone forever, body broken and horrifically scarred.

Her heart felt mortally wounded, aching from the pain of the guilt she couldn't let go of. Sat at her desk her normal posture was long gone. Slumped forward she held her head in her hands as she attempted to tame the tears that threatened to fall once more. She just simply couldn't bear the thought of being so miserably alone again. To go through life without the one person who'd shown her just what it meant to live again, she needed Jane like she needed oxygen to breath and without her she feared she'd simply stop.

Taking a few deep breaths she slowly lowered her hands and looked at the computer screen which was casting an ethereal glow over her haunted and gaunt face. With a sense of sadness as if she'd failed in this too, she solemnly clicked on the send button. Effective immediately she had placed herself on a further extended leave of absence, grateful for her wealthy connections which had allowed her to personally contact the Governor himself and arrange for her replacement with the minimal amount of fuss.

Glancing down at her desk she picked up the one thing she knew she couldn't and wouldn't ever leave without. A beautiful antique mahogany 7x5 picture frame had taken pride of place ontop of the smooth suface of the desk next to her computer screen. It contained a scene that instantly washed over her with a sense of overwhelming love and acceptance every time she gazed at it.

It had been Christmas Eve, her first ever one as the Chief Medical Examiner. She'd known Jane for little under a year but even back then she'd known the bond they held was unbreakable. They'd been sat around a large oak table at the Rizzoli family home after Jane had threatened to drag her there by her hair when she'd heard that Maura would be spending hers alone like she pretty much did every year. Aghast at the thought, Jane had outright demanded her attendance with no room for maneuver even though Maura hadn't actually had any intention of declining. She'd been touched by the adamance in Jane's tone, knowing it was an argument she'd have never had won anyway.

Frank Snr had been proudly sat at the head of the table, carving knife in hand and raised in the air, poised ready to cut the turkey. Frankie and Tommy who had been sat next him opposite each other however, had other ideas and in a co-ordinated attack swiftly yanked the legs off the massive bird, stealing them for themselves before anyone had chance to stop them. In mock anger and outrage Frank dropped the knife and grabbing the nearest wooden utensil he could get his hands on rapped his thieving sons firmly on their knuckles, causing them both to yelp out in sudden pain. Tommy, yanking his hand back in agony accidentally launched the fat turkey leg from his hand and over his shoulder causing it to land on the floor with an unceremonious thud.

Fortunately for Jo Friday it seemed her Christmas has definitely come early as the resident canine hoover immediately scampered over to it. Legs frantically going ten to the dozen she grabbed it between her tiny scruffy jaw, dragging it off in the direction of her doggy basket in the kitchen.

Jane couldn't help it, finding the situation absolutely hilarious she couldn't hold it back any longer, howling in laughter as Maura tried to fight back her own giggles, Jane belly laughed, pointing at the frantic animal and the pissed off look on her brother's face as his ill-gotten prize was about to be wolfed down.

Maura, looking over at her best friend beside her, the beautiful sight of merriment and joy that welcomed her completely enraptured her and without initially realising it, she was suddenly caught up in her own fit of raucous laughter. A scowling Frankie was now frantically chasing poor Jo Friday around the kitchen, desperately trying to get the now gnawed leg back. The little dog growling manically the whole time as she imitated a miniature road runner, dashing every which way she could to dodge the large hands trying to grab her.

Angela had been sat at opposite end of the table from Frank Snr, and although Maura and Jane hadn't realised it, she'd been busily snapping photos for the family album the whole time. That night had been the first time she'd shared a bed with Jane, the Rizzoli family home was full to capacity and Jane adamantly demanded that Maura took her bed as there was no way in hell she'd see the honey blonde suffer the lumpy couch.

She hadn't bargained on Maura being as equally stubborn however and was steadfastly refusing to turf Jane out of her own bed on Christmas Eve. As the two bickered, both refusing to give an inch, Angela stepped in between them, and giving them her well-practiced "You will do what your Mother says, or else" look, told them to just share the bed if it meant they'd stop being so pig-headed. Both with slightly sheepish guilty looks on their faces at being told off by Angela they nodded their heads and silently agreed for fear of getting their hands rapped by a wooden spoon too.

Waking up that Christmas morning Jane's warm, strong and lithe body had been pressed into her back. Strong arms wrapped around her waist and finely boned hands had splayed across her stomach, staking claim to her as if they'd refuse to ever let go. A sense of pure joy and warmth flushed through her being completely, it was the happiest experience she had ever felt in her whole entire life. Never before had she felt so accepted and loved at any one given time, she simply felt truly blessed.

A soft sigh of contentment escaped her lips as the nose pressing against the back of her neck nuzzled in deeper with a low growl and powerful arms wrapped around her pulling her in tighter. She couldn't have stopped the blissful smile from gracing her lips even if she had wanted to.

Later that day after even more laughter and mirth shared with her newly found family who'd chosen to pretty much adopt her, she bid her farewells. Wrapping Jane into a bear hug, leaving her that day had proved difficult in a way that she couldn't understand. She was used to spending her holidays virtually always alone and 99.99% of the time it didn't bother her in the slightest, she liked her own company but now she found it lacking.

She immediately missed the all consuming warmth that wrapped around her whenever she was in the presence of the Rizzoli family and specifically one Rizzoli in particular. As she pushed open the door to her home in Beacon Hills she was struck by the quiet and coolness her house emanated compared to where she'd just come from. Even though the feeling saddened her a little the thought of everything that Jane had brought into her life quickly made her smile once more.

Maura didn't think her life would ever be like this, hers was one of logic, science and yes and no answers, there were no grey areas and definetly no guessing. Jane had swept into her life like a whirlwind, practically forcing her to face new perspectives and her fears head on but with all the change it had brought, Maura knew she wouldn't change it for anything else in the world. She'd found the best friend anyone could wish to have.

As she began to unpack her leather flight bag back home on Boxing day she discovered an unexpected and belated Christmas present. A smallish rectangular object was wrapped simply in a shiny red paper with a large cream bow adorning it. She'd found it tucked in-between the folds of her silk pyjama trousers. Turning it around in her hands she could find no note or gift tag to indicate the identity of her mysterious benefactor but when she curiously tore off the paper the mystery was solved.

The memories of that beautiful image caused a single tear to escape her iron constraint and gently placing the photograph into her handbag, she left her office for the foreseeable future without pause or looking back. There was only one job in her life for the time being and it was one she would dedicate every single molecule of her being to be perfect at, to look after her Jane.

It had been a week since she'd last fallen asleep by Jane's side in the hospital bed, the nightmares never seeming to dim in their ferocity, but apart from the mental scars, Jane was healing well. Ever the stubborn fighter the Doctors had deemed her fit enough to receive care at home, should a caregiver be available for her 24 hrs a day.

The Doctor hadn't even had chance to blink before Maura was informing him in no uncertain terms that she would be caring for Jane. The look on her face brokered no room for question or argument. Jane, sat up in bed, couldn't help but let a small smile play on her lips as she watched her best friend mercilessly harangue the Doc with her Googlemouth, asking question after question about how best to treat her from her home.

The over protectiveness warmed her heart, she couldn't remember the last time anyone had ever shown they cared for her so deeply. She had no doubt that Casey would have visited her in hospital but she also had little doubt that faced with giving up his tour of duty in Afghanistan to care for her, she would have easily lost that battle. Maura cared for Jane selflessly, the same as Jane cared for her.

Although she'd once told her that she didn't know if she'd die for Maura but she'd come close, she knew even then she'd been lying, she die to protect Maura without so much as a second thought.

Maura hurried away with the Doctor to check what supplies she needed to best care for Jane and as her back retreated from the doorway her regular Nurse, Sarah, walked into the room to prepare her for leaving the hospital.

"Hey Sarah, any chance you can get this massive bird's nest out of my hair and make me look even slightly presentable?" Jane pleaded, looking beseechingly at the young blonde nurse smiling compassionately at the side of her bed.

"Well I'm not sure the hospital's got a big enough budget to pull off that miracle Rizzoli but if it gets your annoying butt off my ward I'm sure I can work a little bit of magic!" Sarah joked winking at a now scowling Jane.

"Don't make me beat you with my plaster-cast woman, you can't be mean to your patients!"

"Says who?!"

"The hippopotamus oath!" Jane laughed jokingly at her.

"Dear God if you're calling me fat you're gonna get it plaster-cast or not! I'll sort you out just to get you out of here quicker!" Sarah smiled lightly swatting Jane on her good hand in mock annoyance.

10 minutes later, Jane's wild almost black unruly curls had been tied back into a loose ponytail and thanks to a bed bath she now smelt vaguely human again. Dressed in loose fitting yoga pants and one of her old faded and threadbare Red Sox T-shirts, she finally felt a little more like herself again, now free of her horrid and drafty hospital gown.

Even though she'd threatened to throw her wheelchair out of the window, she'd pulled faces, shouted, whined and pleaded at Sarah nothing seemed to working, the nurse was doggedly determined that her irresponsible patient do as she was told.

"Okay Rizzoli, what the hell do I know, I've only been a nurse for a couple of years, clearly you're in a fit state to be mincing round the hospital as you see fit!" Sarah stepped a little closer to Jane at the side of her bed. "Go ahead, come on tough guy, let's see you up and at 'em then."

Growling she said, "Fuck you Davies, fine I will!" Bracing the side of her bed with her one good hand she gingerly and slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed nearest to Sarah, all the while scowling in pain. Taking a deep breath, legs dangling over the edge of the bed, she lowered herself to the floor and immediately screamed out as the intense pain in her bad leg and broken ribs scorched through her body like a wildfire. Immediately she began to topple forwards only to be caught by Sarah's strong arms.

"Don't you dare say it, don't you dare say I told you so!" Jane wheezed through gritted teeth, "and I do NOT mince!"

"Sure you don't champ, now let's get you your new set of wheels so your lovely Doctor friend can get you as far away from my hospital as possible. God only knows how you've managed to con her into looking after your sorry grumpy ass, you'll have to give me some tips about the ladies some time, she must be a bloody saint!"

"I… I have no idea why she puts up with me, I honestly don't and we're not… I'm not…"

"Yeah sure Rizzoli, I'm sure you're right about that just like you were right about walking!" Sarah smiled sarcastically as she gently eased Jane into her wheelchair.

Jane said nothing in response, she simply sat in the chair staring out of the window, deep in contemplation. Late afternoon rays of sun enveloped her sharp profile, glinting in her warm chocolate brown eyes, causing flecks of red to shine in her ebony mane, a halo of warm light caressing her soft, tanned skin.

Maura suddenly came to a halt in the doorway to Jane's hospital room, pulse thrumming in her ears she suddenly forgot to breathe as her brain struggled to process the vision before her. She opened her mouth but the words she meant to say weren't forthcoming and fell silent. She wasn't sure how long she stood there simply watching. Jane seemed to be off in some distant world and hadn't noticed her arrival. Instead Maura simply indulged her guilty pleasure and savoured the exquisite picture of beauty before her she had never really truly seen before.

She wasn't sure when she'd first noticed how beautiful her friend was, it could have been the before the attack or it could have been yesterday, but it simply felt like she'd known deep down forever. There was something tugging at her consciousness, something she should be realizing, something that she should already understand but Maura just couldn't filter her thoughts correctly with all the turmoil and upheaval she was experiencing in her life right now.

Jane had already sensed Maura standing in the doorway, hesitant to look at her best friend Sarah's words still rang in her ears. She wished Maura would say something because she couldn't find the words right now.

Maura, why was it always Maura that did this to her? Maura was the most frustrating but amazing woman she had ever met, the one person that had her wanting to bang her own head off a wall one minute and giggling in joy the next. The thought of whatever waited for her after death was a dark one, it was one without her Maura. If she had to die she prayed it be one without an afterlife, that nothing else existed so she wouldn't have to experience the soul destroying loneliness of the loss of Maura from her life.

She had no idea what these feelings for her meant, the confusion tying her mind in knots, Maura wasn't Casey or Dean, she wasn't one of the other nameless men which had come bumbling into her life and straight out of it again, she was more. But she was a woman, she was a woman and her best friend, a best friend whom she loved dearly and thanks to that she was desperately struggling to try and put that love into context.

Maura nervously finally found her voice.

"Jane-… I-…" Looking into the soul consuming depths of Jane's captivating eyes the words suddenly disappeared again, erased in the blink of an eye and her old habits kicked back in.

" I've spoken to your Doctors and Sarah, they've told me you've been an absolutely insufferable patient. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is trying to care for you Jane?! Your poor Mother has been going out of her mind because the nurses have told her you're not eating properly, you won't take your meds and your sarcasm has everyone ready to beat you with a bedpan! Do you actually realize you've suffered a greenstick fracture to your ulna, an avulsion fracture to your tibia and your manubrium was almost crushed from the impact it repeatedly suffered. You're damn well lucky your zygomatic arch wasn't completely shattered by the blunt force trauma it sustained!" Maura scowled, voise raised her finger had been pointing, punctuating every word and Jane couldn't help the soft smile that played across her lips, enraged Maura was cute.

"I'm sorry." She apologized sincerely, still smiling at Maura's annoyed gaze.

"And another thing yo-… you're sorry?!" Confused she wasn't quite sure she'd heard Jane right, it wasn't like her to apologise off the bat like that.

"You heard me Maura, I honestly am and I know I don't say that enough when I'm being an ass like I have been. I know how much you, my mother, and everyone else has done for me since I ended up like this but there will never be enough words to tell you how much I appreciate everything you've done. You got me through this, God only knows what would have happened if I didn't have you by my side… even if you did hog the blanket, snore and nearly rolled me out of my own hospital bed." She joked with a smirk and her signature quirk of her eyebrow in amusement.

Maura blushed, smiling at the thought being curled up next to Jane on the small hospital bed. She didn't know what to say, normally so famous for her expansive vocabulary it suddenly failed her once more, she wasn't used to Jane being so open with her feelings.

"It's okay Maur, I know." Reaching out with her good hand she gently clasped Maura's hand and gave it a soft squeeze of reassurance.

"Let's get you home." Maura replied, unconsciously rubbing a thumb over the finely boned digits still tenderly holding her own.


	5. Chapter 5

Under the strictest Doctor's orders (i.e. Maura's) Jane had reluctantly taken her painkillers like a scorned puppy and once she'd been bundled into Maura's Prius as high as a kite, she promptly passed out during the short journey to Maura's home.

Leaving Jane's slumbering form in the car she got out and unfolded the wheelchair before pushing it around to Jane's side. Opening the door she couldn't help the small smile of endearment that crossed her lips as she gazed down at her very own sleeping beauty. Jane was totally out of it, slouched back in her seat, mouth wide-open busy catching flies and gently snoring as a little bit of drool collected at the side of her mouth.

"Jaaaane." Maura gently called, squeezing Jane's shoulder causing Jane to snort but still somehow remain passed out. "There's a Sox game on and I have cold beers in the fridge." She tried to tempt her from her sleep but Jane was having non of it.

"N-… N'ah Ma I don't wanna! Na'ah!" How could Jane be so stubborn even in her sleep?! Maura sighed frustrated but still smiling.

"Jane Clemantine Rizzoli if you don't wake up right this instant Angela and I will force you to wear a dress to work every day for the next year!" Maura said sternly shaking Jane's shoulder a little harder.

"Huh-wah?! Jeez Maura, there's no need to be mean! How long have I been out for? Ugh I feel like crap!"

"We've only come from the hospital to my house Jane but we got caught up in a little bit of traffic, it only took 15 minutes though." Maura's hand remained on Jane's shoulder, her thumb slowly caressing it through her T-shirt. "I need to help get you out of here and into the chair so we can get you inside."

"God I hate this, I hate having to use this stupid damn chair and I hate having to rely on you Maur!"

"Stop being pig-headed and stubborn Jane, you really are the most frustrating woman I've ever met! Now slowly shuffle over towards the chair, the brakes are on and I'll help you get in."

"Yes Ma." Jane grumpily huffed earning a laugh from Maura as she slowly slid her body towards the edge of the seat.

Maura was dressed in an almost sheer white silk shirt with her crimson red Valentino jacket, a black Givenchy pencil skirt and her customary Giavanti Rossi heals. Suddenly Jane's mouth went dry and the air suddenly got thin as she realised Maura was going to have to get her of the car somehow, that meant getting up close and personal and for some reason that suddenly felt really unnerving.

Maura stood as close to Jane as she possibly could and leant forwards to hook her arms under Jane's. Jane stifled a gasp as her breath hitched and her eyes drifted to where they really shouldn't have been looking. Her heart suddenly felt like it was going ten to the dozen and her palms felt clammy as she struggled to swallow.

"Jane are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?" Maura asked worriedly.

"Err I um, yeah I'm fine, my ribs are just a bit sore." She outright lied as she tried to remember to breathe and forced her eyes to look at Maura's instead of the two undone shirt buttons. Buttons that were now revealing a breathtaking glimpse of Maura's amazing cleavage ensconced in what appeared to be a very expensive white silk and lace bra.

Maura hadn't missed the sneaky look at her cleavage or the reaction of Jane seeing it, but what she wasn't sure about was why Jane had that reaction towards it. Was it either because she was embarrassed by looking or was it because she liked what she saw? Maura knew that if she were pressed to choose which answer she'd prefer, she'd definitely have to pick the latter and that thought for some reason made her inordinately happy.

"Okay, I promise I'll be gentle, now place your feet onto the foot plate and I'm going to slowly lift you across."

"Are you sure Maura? I know I'm not fat or anything but I'm not exactly light."

"Jane stop being so self-depreciating all the time, you know how slim and toned you are, believe me it's not going to be a problem." And with that Maura slid her arms under Jane's, wrapping hers around Jane's back, splaying her fingers across it as her head rested on Jane's shoulder.

As soon as Maura's head found its perch Jane had to close her eyes and forcefully will herself not take in a deep breath as the scent of Maura's perfume washed over her senses. It must be these damn drugs, she thought to herself as the alluring and heady scent of white flower and orange blossom caused her hormones to surge.

Instantly she found herself biting the inside of her cheek as she prayed to any God/Goddesses that might be listening, to help her resist the urge of nuzzling her nose into the silken honey blonde strands that were now caressing her cheek. 'What the hell is wrong with me?! Get a grip Rizzoli!'

Little did she realize that Maura was having her own difficulties, her fingers seemed to strangely feel like they were tingling as she basked in the warmth of Jane's body and her chest pressed against Jane's. She unexpectedly felt a flush of arousal shiver up her body. _'It's only Jane, I can do this, it must be because I haven't gone on any dates recently. I haven't had chance to release the tension like I normally would have that's all.'_ She tried to rationalize, not wanting to think about the real reason she was feeling this way.

Jane lowered her feet onto the footplate and wrapped her arms around Maura, pulling their bodies into an even tighter embrace. _'God I could stay like this forever, why the hell does she feel so good right now?!... It's just because she's caring for you dumbass, you just appreciate someone looking after you like this.'_ Jane's inner voice mocked her annoyingly but somehow she thought that was a load of horse shit, but she too like Maura was unwilling to dissect these feelings right now and just like she normally did, she compartmentalized them and promptly attempted to ignore them.

Maura as gentle as she could be, she slowly lifted and lowered Jane into the chair and all to quickly her body was gone, no longer pressed into Jane's as she released the brake on the chair. She maneuvered it slightly away from the car door and leant in retrieving her purse then and she shut it. Jane looked over to Maura's front door and suddenly remembered that there was a short set steps leading up to the front door.

"Hey Maur, you really don't have to do this, I forgot about your steps. Why don't you just call Tommy or Frankie to lend a hand, I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Jane Clemantine Rizzoli, this had better not be how you're going to spend the rest of your time here, frankly I'm annoyed that you'd assume I wouldn't be able to get you up there and secondly you're here so I can look after you, not the other way around do you understand me?" Maura scowled, frankly getting annoyed that Jane wouldn't just accept the fact that she desperately wanted to just look after her best friend.

"I'm sorry Maur' I just hate this, I hate being weak and I hate having to rely on someone else even if it is you, okay?"

"No it's not okay! For one Jane, you are NOT weak. If you were weak you would never have survived what you went through. The doctor's are amazed you even pulled through and were even more amazed that you're healing as quick as you are. You are the strongest woman I have ever met and I choose to help you because I want to. Think of all the times you've rescued me Jane or helped me through some dire situation, I'm simply returning the favour and if you don't stop all this whining then I'll take you back to your apartment and let your Mother look after you!"

"OKAY, okay, sheesh Maura there's no need to make threats like that, I'm sorry. I'm really glad you're here for me okay, it's just a bit difficult for me to come to terms with, I've always been so independent. Oh and I DO NOT whine!"

"Yes you do and you're grumpy without coffee, head strong and stubborn, but I wouldn't want you any other way Jane." Maura smiled affectionately at her best friend as she gently squeezed her shoulder to emphasize the point.

A few minutes later, a surprisingly strong Maura had pulled Jane and her wheelchair backwards up the stone steps to her house and they were both now safely tucked up on Maura's couch.

"So I know you might be a bit hesitant about this, but I spoke to Doctor Grey today and she said that although you'll be okay sleeping on a bed, you need someone with you in the house just in case. You might need to use the toilet in the middle of the night or hurt yourself in your sleep if you roll onto your leg, arm or the wrong side. I've been thinking about it and I think you should sleep with me so I can keep an eye on you. Angela's going to sleep at your condo so we can use the guesthouse so you don't have to worry about stairs."

All Jane's brain seemed to hear were the words, 'I think you should sleep with me.' She knew she should probably give an answer or Maura might think something was wrong and question her so she meekly answered. "Okay."

Thoughts and images of sleeping with the curvaceous, stunningly beautiful Dr Maura Isles were suddenly flashing through her mind and in its tired state she was struggling to fight them off. Her brain decided to picture that silk lace bra again cupping those generous breasts and Jane immediately felt herself blush.

"Are you sure you're okay Jane, you seem to be acting a little off today, I can take you back to the hospital if you like and get you checked out?" Concern colouring Maura's voice.

"Sorry, I'm just a little tired with everything. I think I could use a nap."

"How about I help you to the bedroom, get you settled in for the night and you can fall asleep in front of the TV in there, I think I remembered to set the DVR to record the Sox games from last week for you."

"You recorded the baseball? For me? You're too good to me Maur', thanks." Jane replied with a genuine smile complete with dimples gracing her beautiful face and Maura couldn't help but return the smile just as fully.

Slowly she transferred Jane from the couch into the chair, then out over to the guesthouse and sat her on top of the King Sized bed.

"Angela brought a car full of your things over the other day so we've put them in the closet and the chest-of-drawers for you. I know you're a little challenged mobility wise but I just want you to make yourself at home here Jane. Speaking of which we need to get you out of those clothes and into your pyjamas so you're comfortable for the night."

Suddenly Jane realised that she hadn't actually really thought any of this through, this being here, letting Maura look after her and all it would actually entail. _'I'm going to have to let her undress me, she's going to see me-… she's going to see me naked, oh fuck how in the hell on God's green earth am I going to get a shower, fuck even worse how the hell am I going to use the toilet?!'_

Maura instinctively knew why Jane's skin had suddenly blanched almost a translucent white, why the normally so vocal Detective was so suddenly quiet again.

"Jane you know I've seen you in your underwear before, I'm a doctor and you obviously know what I do for a living so you know I've seen it all before. There's no rational reason for you to be embarrassed or shy."

"Maur' it's not that, I just, it's I-… Dammit I'm just embarrassed that you're going to see me like that, broken and well, naked."

"Well if you want me to get someone in to help with this I can Jane. I could hire a nurse to look after you or ask Angela to do it instead?"

"Jeez Maura NO! My mother is not seeing me naked, EVER! And there's no way in hell I'm letting you spend money on getting me a private nurse, it's not happening, you've already done more than enough for me. Besides I don't know which is worse, having a complete stranger see me naked or you, it was bad enough having Sarah give me a bed bath. It's okay, we'll get through this somehow, it's not you I swear it's just me."

Deep down Jane was absolutely mortified at the thought of having Maura firstly see her naked, but secondly even more so at the thought of having her wash her naked body too. It worried her that her body might betray her considering the reactions she'd suddenly started having around her. _'Christ, what if she realizes what she does to me when she touches me? She might be disgusted and I might lose her! Why the hell did this have to happen to me? Fucking hell Rizzoli!'_ She outright panicked and fretting about what Maura's reaction might be.

"Well that's agreed then, it'll be okay Jane I promise, like you said we will get through this, just let me look after you, let me l-… care for you." Maura stopped herself quickly from saying the word she wasn't exactly sure of the meaning of now when it came to how she felt about Jane. It was a dangerous word and one that was causing absolute chaos to run through her already confused mind.

Maura decided to busy herself with finding Jane's pyjamas in an attempt to calm herself and after a few minutes of digging around in the closet and drawers, she finally found where Angela had stashed Jane's white tank top and shorts. Taking them out, she carefully laid them on the bed next to where Jane's legs were dangling over the edge.

Knowing how uncomfortable Jane was, instead of looking at what she was doing Maura looked into the warm coffee coloured eyes that were nervously gazing back at her and gave her a reassuring smile.

Maura was anything but relaxed however, she felt as nervous as Jane did and was almost relieved that she wouldn't have to look at her best friend's naked body. She hated feeling confused about things and she was sure that seeing Jane's athletically toned, olive skinned body would only add to that confusion even more.

Maura had dated women before, she didn't have any sexual hang-ups about those type of things. She was open-minded and easily embraced her sexuality in all of its forms, but that seemed to be the problem right now, her feelings were shifting when it came to Jane and she couldn't quite explain why. She didn't know what had happened to cause this in the first place.

It was no surprise that men and women alike openly admired Jane's striking beauty, and Maura knew how beautiful her friend was, but before this she hadn't experienced a physical response to it… Or at least she thought she hadn't. Thinking back she realised that that wasn't quite true as she started remembering all the unnecessary and lingering touches shared between them, the feeling of joy when she'd woken up on that first Christmas Eve, wrapped possessively in those strong and warm arms.

Maura knew Jane had been brought up in a Catholic family and due to that she often came off as being reserved and shy when it came to talking about topics such as sex and relationships. _'I dread to think how she'd react to another woman being attracted to her, every time I've mentioned the Kinsey Scale to her she's deflected it, how can I tell her now when she's clearly like a rabbit stood in the car lights. I bet I got that colloquialism wrong too!'_ Maura inwardly sighed, worried that she'd never be able to tell Jane about the times in the past for example when she'd told her that she'd been dating John but in reality she'd been dating Joanne, and Alex had actually been Alexandra.

Kneeling down between Jane's legs and still looking into each other's eyes for reassurance, Maura gently lifted the distressed old Red Sox T-shirt up and over Jane's arms, she tugged it over her head and off her body.

Her gaze never faltering, her hands found the tank top by touch and placed it on Jane's lap. Taking a deep breath she reached her arms around Jane's torso and undid the clasp securing Jane's bra. Freed from restraint, Maura then brought her hands up to Jane's shoulders and pushed the straps down and off over her arms. Eyes still locked together Maura picked up the top from her lap and pulled it down over Jane's head, finally dressing her in it.

Jane was truly touched by the kindness her friend was showing, Maura knew how uncomfortable she'd been about this and had done her absolute best to reassure her, never once letting her gaze stray. She was relieved beyond explanation that Maura hadn't looked, the second Maura's warm and finely boned delicate fingers had brushed over her back, undoing the clasp to her bra, she'd had to fight off another shocked gasp.

Wild heat had fiercely surged through her body causing the beat of her heart to thrum in her ears as her nipples hardened and ached with sheer arousal, begging for Maura to touch them. She was in big trouble and she knew it. _'C'mon, it's Maura for God's sake, I haven't been on a date in months, that's all this is, I just need to find a way to release all this freaking tension and we'll be back to normal.'_ Jane tried to convince herself but even to her it sounded pretty damn lame.

Maura felt like she'd won the battle waging within her, she had no idea how she'd been able to not sneak a peak at her gorgeous friend sat before her but somehow she'd done it. Just the lower half of her body to deal with now and suddenly she struggled to swallow, trying to work out how on Earth she was going to maneuver Jane without being able to see what she was doing.  
Jane knew exactly what Maura was thinking at this point and with a little smile on her face she grasped Maura's hand in her own.

"Maur, it's okay, if you just help me get my joggers and pants down my thighs and start me off with the shorts I should be okay, I can do it with one hand."

Maura was relieved beyond belief to hear those words and once more looking into Jane's eyes she did as she asked. Jane began tugging the shorts up her tanned and seemingly endlessly long legs but yanked a little too hard as they got snagged underneath her thighs, instantly causing her bad leg to smack into the side of the bed.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! THAT REALLY FUCKING HURTS!" Jane cried out in absolute agony whilst still frantically pulling the shorts fully up as Maura jumped to her feet, panicking as Jane felt tears of pain stinging her eyes.

"JANE!" Maura shouted scared for her, quickly she wrapped her arms tenderly under Jane's legs and scooped her up, moving the surprisingly light body further onto the bed and laid her down against the pillows. Maura hurriedly rushed into the en-suite and poured Jane a glass of cold water as she grabbed the pain meds from the bathroom cabinet. Returning to her side she leaned over Jane handing her the pills and water, finally taking it off her after she'd gulped down a few mouthfuls.

Jane's eyes were scrunched shut, salty trails of tears stained her cheeks as she quietly sobbed in agony at the pain lancing through her leg, still slicing through her like a hot knife.

Instantly undone at the sight of Jane in pain Maura carefully lowered herself onto the bed next to her and wrapped her up in a tender hug. Pressing her lips against Jane's temple she gently shooshed the cries away, whispering into her ear that everything was going to be okay as her hand gently rubbed soothing circles on her back.

Ten minutes later Jane was soundly asleep thanks to the effects of the strong painkillers. Passed out and lying on her good side Jane's head was resting on Maura's chest, her broken arm wrapped around Maura's waist and despite the pain her friend had suffered, Maura felt a sense of peace and belonging wash over her like it had that first Christmas Eve. Smiling at the precious bundle in her arms she placed a tender kiss on the top of Jane's head and finally allowed herself to drift off into a deep slumber with her.

Somehow they'd both managed to sleep throughout most of the night in exactly the same position, but in the early hours of the morning Jane was suddenly woken by movement next to her. As her senses came back to her she suddenly realised that it was Maura. Her head was turning from side to side and although she seemed to still be in a deep sleep, she was obviously having a nightmare of some sort. Maura let out a frightened yelp as unintelligible words escaped her lips and her breaths came quick and short.

"N-… no, NO! PLEASE! Not her, don't-… you can't… Don't take her… JANE!" Maura whimpered, crying out still asleep. Instantly Jane's heart broke, she knew exactly what Maura was dreaming about. Her Mom had told her that the day she'd been found, Lt Cavanaugh had discovered Maura collapsed on the floor in the BRIC, the monitor displaying in true gorey Technicolor detail her torture at the hands of HIM.

She scolded herself as she realised she'd never asked her how she'd been dealing with everything that had happened. It hadn't crossed her mind that Maura might be suffering just as much mentally as she had since then. _'You're such a blind idiot at times.'_ She sadly thought to herself.

Thankfully although she'd taken the pain meds hours ago they were still dulling the senses around her injuries enough so that she could slowly reverse their positions and with one hand she pulled Maura into her embrace. Tangling a hand into the soft tresses laid against her, she caressed the soft skin at the nape of Maura's neck, knowing not to wake her up in the middle of a nightmare but simply hoping that the touch of her fingers and the feeling of all her love and caring might bring her out of it.

Some 5 minutes later Maura had gradually settled back down and once again a look of tranquility had replaced the disturbed one which had previously taken over her. Jane knew there and then she'd have to sit down and talk to her about this and she suddenly remembered how Maura had looked all those times at the hospital. Still dressed to kill in all of her beautiful designer clothes, she looked anything but ready for a catwalk. Maura's normally impeccable and flawless skin seemed dull and lacking the glow her friend normally had, dark circles had become almost permanently painted onto her skin and around her mouth deep lines had been etched onto her face no doubt from all the worry and stress. How stupid could she have been not to see all this?!


End file.
